GHOST RIDER 2: ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS GOING TO GET PAID

Variety is reporting that Marvel has decided to "rev the throttle" on another Ghost Rider movie with Nicolas Cage. I'm pretty sure anyone reading this right now is just beginning to remember that there was, in fact, a Ghost Rider movie with Nicolas Cage. Nobody cared back then, nobody cares now, and the idea that you're not even going to try to reboot it, you're just making another one for the one to two people in the country who anxiously await Cage's continued adventures as a flaming skull on a motorcycle, that's just silly. Really, Hollywood? What I fear more than circumstance forcing me to sit through another installment of Ghost Rider (I already spent two horrifying hours with it the first time that I'll never get back. It wasn't my idea. Honest.) is the possibility that this new one might actually be successful anyway. When Hellboy 2 came out in spite of the failure of the first movie, it totally banked, because for some reason everybody was interested in seeing it. I could totally see that happening again, with friends of mine going "i don't know i heard it was pretty good!" and dragging me to go see it, until once again I have to hear Cage's shitty character voice (JUST USE YOUR NATURAL SPEAKING VOICE IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD) say "Ah'm Ghost Rider."

You could say that I'm a little upset they're actually putting money towards this.