Friday, October 30, 2009


Alright, I almost posted about this before, but I didn't do it. And now there are more casting announcements for the Thor movie. Specifically, Anthony Hopkins has been added to the cast. I know what you're saying, "Alex, that's not that big a deal, he's a great actor but he's been in plenty of shitty movies, of course he'd show up in one of the five million comic book adaptations rushing to theaters before this fad blows over." Yeah, you'd be right. What I haven't told you yet is the rest of the cast, which has already been announced.

In Thor, directed by legendary Shakespearean actor/director Kenneth Branagh, the announced cast thus far includes Natalie Portman, Robert DeNiro, Stellan Skarsgaard, Colm Feore, Jude Law, Brian Fucking Blessed, and now Anthony Hopkins, plus the obligatory rumored appearance by Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. Oh, and some guy named Chris Hemsworth is playing the lead role of Thor, but who gives a shit about him?

Altogether among the names I've just mentioned are 18 Academy Award nominations. This is literally the most absurdly star-studded cast of a superhero movie thus far, and it's the movie for one of the silliest characters Marvel has. Nobody's favorite superhero is Thor. That's just ridiculous. I mean, I have to see this movie for the cast alone, but wow. Dude's got a hammer.

I actually wrote a 17-page paper on the reality of comic books once. Thor's the only superhero whose ability of flight is physically possible - his gigantic hammer (called Mjolnir, nerdpoints) has a wrist strap, and he'll just throw it real hard, and the strap catches his wrist and carries him with the force of the thrown hammer. That's how he flies. That shit is seriously just ridiculous, let the motherfucker fly.

I'm sorry, I can't get over the fact that the most oscar-likely superhero movie coming out is Thor. THOR! I'm a lifelong nerd, and I've never even been remotely interested in Thor, not counting his cameo in the seminal 80s film Adventures in Babysitting (there played by Full Metal Jacket's Vincent D'Onofrio. They really should have just given him the lead in this new movie.)

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Yes, you read that (almost) clever headline correctly - Silent Hill, the barely successful 2006 film adaptation of the huge video game franchise, is getting a sequel. I've encountered very few people who even remember the existence of the original film, but apparently that's successful enough - a sequel is officially in the works. So far the only two returning from the first film are writer Roger Avary and producer Samuel Hadida. The first movie actually wasn't that bad (largely due to the visual awesomeness of director Christophe Gans), but its biggest problem was, well, Roger Avary. The story in the first movie flat-out sucked, and had almost no closure, leaving a lot of loose ends (not even loose ends interesting enough to be the focus of a sequel, though - just strangely unfinished subplots that had no significance or effect towards the main story to begin with.) The dialogue was garbage and the story completely unfocused. With that in mind, the writer being the only creative member of the team coming back is not in any way exciting news. It's cool, though, because what the original lacked in story, it made up for with extremely hot female police officers.

Oh, yeah.

Laurie Holden is one of those not-that-famous actresses who should probably be way more famous. Seriously, just try watching any movie she's in without shallowly falling in love with her based on looks alone. Man. (Watch The Mist, though, that was seriously underrated and way better than Silent Hill.) This girl is half the reason I need to become a famous filmmaker in Hollywood, so I can aggressively pursue her hand in marriage. She may be sixteen years older than I am (yes, I checked), but love knows no age. For the possibility of more tough-chick Laurie Holden hotness I'd totally see a sequel.

Oh, wait. She actually dies a fiery, gruesome death in the original.


Yknow what? Fuck this sequel.

Okay, okay, I'm being rash. I would honestly be really interested in seeing another Silent Hill movie - but, like I said, from a different writer with a different angle. The original video game (yes, my nerdiness extends beyond film) is actually a really solid, scary piece of interactive storytelling, and remains a common staple in the are-video-games-art argument that so many have raised (Roger Ebert in particular has been a real dick about it - but I digress.) A lot of the flaws in the story of the first movie came from Avary's structure being really close to an actual video game - which works for a video game, but not a movie. I'd like to see a writer just give us a spookhouse ride story through this creepy town without being bound by the specific events of one of the games, as long as they keep the atmosphere and mythology of it intact.

I'll leave you with a fun little youtube video.